A few months ago, I went to a wedding for a close friend. It felt sort of like being at a high school reunion. Every few minutes, I saw another person I had not seen in years.
Each conversation was similar to the last. The same questions came up over and over again.
What have you been up to? What are you working on now? What’s next for you?
Maybe these are just questions people ask me because I have always been so goal-driven.
I started a family when I was young. I worked long hours on the job. I strived for raises, bonuses, and promotions. I started businesses and sold businesses. I achieved what I considered to be success in life.
In some ways, I feel like I have lived the equivalent of three lifetimes.
Can you relate?
The thing is, I have always known how to chase a goal. I was taught how to work hard, achieve something, and then move on to the next thing.
I was never taught how to not chase a goal.
So every time these questions came up at the wedding, answering them felt difficult. I felt the urge to be vague, lie, or make something up.
Not because I was ashamed or because I felt like I had not accomplished anything.
For the first time that I could remember, I wasn’t trying to achieve anything.
It felt foreign.
For a few conversations, I just tried to turn the conversation around.
“What am I up to? Oh, not much. How about you?”
Then another friend I hadn’t seen in a few years came up to me.
She said, “Hey, I saw that you were just promoted to president of your company. That’s great. So what’s next for you?”
This time I said something before I could stop myself.
I said, “Nothing. I am not trying to achieve anything.”
She said, “Nothing? Really? There must be something.”
I said, “I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do in life.”
She said, “Oh, that’s morbid,” and then walked away.
But it didn’t feel morbid to me.
It didn’t feel like the death of my ambitions or my career.
I felt great.
It was as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders.
That’s when I realized something.
I am happy right where I am.
For most of my life, I chased the next goal, hoping that when I reached it, it would bring me happiness.
Then I would get there, and there would be another goal.
Another promotion.
Another business.
Another challenge.
Another “what’s next?”
There is nothing wrong with that. Chasing goals helped me build a career and a life that I am incredibly grateful for.
But I finally realized that I don’t have to keep chasing what might be next, hoping that happiness is waiting for me when I get there.
I can stop.
I can enjoy this moment for as long as it lasts.
Maybe you have big dreams and more goals to achieve. Maybe the thought of slowing down has never crossed your mind.
Go for every last one of them. I’ll cheer you on.
I’m not done with life. I’m not done with my career. I’m not against ambition.
I just don’t need to know what’s next anymore.
Something else may come along that I want to chase. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t.
Right now, I am happy right where I am.
And for the first time in my life, that’s enough.